Malawi Missions

For the most part Malawians are very quiet and reserved people. They are extremely courteous to expatriates and very respectful of their elders. They are very appreciative of missionary work, and friendly towards Americans

Malawians are usually quite tolerant of foreigners, but there are a few cultural “DO’s and DON’Ts” that visitors should be aware of:

It is considered risque to kiss or hug in public (between a man and woman) - it might appear to be a come-on to a stranger. This kind of showing affection is only done in private.

Malawians do not hug when greeting each other. It is a nice gesture of respect to bow slightly and/or to hold the elbow of your right arm with your left hand when shaking the hand of someone who is older than you or who holds an important position.
Do not put your hand in your pocket when talking to, or when greeting someone. This is a sign of disrespect. Take your hat off when talking to an important person or an elder person.

Do not say, “excuse me,” when you bump into someone. This might imply that you are telling them to get out of your way. Instead say, “I’m sorry.” (pepani)

Do not refuse a gift when offered to you even though you might think it is not necessary or that they cannot afford it. To refuse a gift would be considered very rude. It says what they’re offering is not important, and denies them the joy of giving.

Do not (whenever possible) tell someone “NO” outright when they ask for something. Delays and elaborate excuses are customary, and much preferred to outright rejection. Relationship is primary.

The same applies to food. You will be offered food almost every time you are in a Malawian’s home. If you do not wish to eat their food, or if you simply are not hungry, it is customary to give excuses why you CANNOT eat, rather than to simply say you do not want to eat. (make EVERY effort to eat whatever you are given, especially in the village)

Malawians are very reserved, therefore it is considered risque to discuss any sort of private issues in public — such as pregnancy. Telling others that your wife is pregnant is considered boasting, and there is a strong belief that the baby will die before delivery if the husband goes about bragging. Likewise, it would be considered nosy to ask another man if his wife is pregnant, even if it is very obvious.

Do not be surprised to see people of the same sex holding hands. This is a sign of close friendship and is quite common — but holding hands with the opposite sex is rarely done. Men: a Malawian man will probably hold your hand at some point – it’s a warm gesture of love and respect and it should be embraced.

Malawian married couples do not sit together during church services, weddings or funerals. However, this separation is not usually expected of expatriates. In fact, men and women are often separate.

It is proper to address Malawian men by their surname instead of their first name — especially important men or an elder (you can address them as Bwana - sir, Abambo - father). This applies even after you get acquainted with someone. Women never address men by their first name, and most children do not even know their father’s first name.

It is also very common for a Malawian to go by two or three different names (surname, baptismal name, village name, nick name - even on passport). It can be very frustrating when trying to find someone’s home, so become accustomed to it.

It is a sign of respect if someone offers to carry whatever it is that you may have in your hands. Allow them to take it even if it is not very heavy, because to say “no” is very rude, and will give the impression that your things are too good or too important for them to carry.

Greet everyone before speaking to them — this is VERY IMPORTANT. Ask everyone, “How are you?” before doing business with them or telling them something. Never be in too much of a hurry to tell someone, “good morning.”

Upon entering a room it is customary for the man to go around the room and shake all the other men’s hands BEFORE you get into a discussion with any one person. Shake people’s hands even if you do not know them.

Most Malawians do not mind your taking their picture, but it is polite to ask their permission first. Some will ask for money, but please never give anyone money for taking their picture. It is advisable to just move on to another subject. Especially in Lilongwe, don’t just start snapping pictures of people. Be careful what buildings are behind your subjects. In the capital city it is illegal to take pictures of any government building or military installation. This would include the airport, bus stations, banks, and hospitals.

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